Ups and Downs

All in all, it’s been a pretty solid five years.

In early February 2016, I had landed at the rehab hospital to begin the process of recovering my strength. I had been in bed since the previous August, and was eager to resume simple things like walking and fastening my bra. Oh yes, and walking up and down stairs.

In early February 2021, I can still walk, fasten my bra, and walk stairs. That’s good, right?

I am due for bloodwork, and now that I only have it done every 3 months I get anxious when the time has come. This time in particular, I’m extra anxious. I’ve noticed that I’m itchy. Not full-on PBC itchy, but itchier than I’ve been. Dry winter air? Perhaps.

My fingernails look funny. I googled (yeah, dangerous, I know) and maybe I need to check in with one of my many docs. Or maybe it’s just because my fingers are always cold.

I feel bloated. Of course, it’s a pandemic so isn’t everyone bloated?

I drink a lot of water. My pee is a little more yellow than it has been. Not that worrisome orange or “ice tea” pee that I had in 2014/2015, but not colorless either. It’s way lighter than my husband’s, though, and he doesn’t have liver issues.

My skin color and eye color are fine. Normal. I’m sleeping ok most of the time (better now that 45 is gone, and 46 is fixing stuff!). I’m not overly fatigued. My brain is sharp. I take my meds, religiously. No tacro tremors. No dizziness, and relatively no nausea.

I have no logical reason to think anything is wrong. And yet, when I have to wait 3 months between labs I get nervous that PBC is back or I’m in rejection. I guess this is just how it’s going to be. The ups and downs of autoimmune diseases and post-transplant life.

Every 3 months, I get an extra reminder to be grateful for this beautiful gift of life. Thank you donor.

PS – I got a “follow” on Twitter from Dr. Markus Selzner, my transplant surgeon. How cool is that?!